This week starts off in a hospital bed with a drip in my arms & feet & ends with me back at home in Los Alcazares.
Alan Morris diary 2021, week 45.
Friday, November 5th. I wake early & have my drips changed before having a cold tostada & coffee for breakfast. I have just seen the surgeon. He is pleased with how I'm recovering but I have to stay in hospital for a while whilst they continue with the treatment of the wound & infection.
Once again Agent Fisher tries a daring raid to rescue Agent Sharky but is thwarted in his attempt. He is able to drop off some clean clothes & a shaver, he assures Agent Sharky that rescue attempts will continue.
Saturday, November 6th. I wake early again this morning for the now regular exchange of antibiotics & painkilling drips.
Agent Sharky's report, day 7, of my incarceration behind enemy lines.
Last night I attempted a daring break out but got caught in razor wire around the perimeter of the grounds before being beaten to within an inch of my life by the guards.
They tell me they will pass off the injuries to my face as razor rash & the bruising on my arms as bruising from restraining me. I was hoping to be released in time for the football today. Norwich had asked me to play in goal whilst the Spurtz asked me to play anywhere as even with my injuries I would be better than their best. Instead, I will count the wood panels on my cell wall & count down the minutes between meals.
Sunday, November 7th. At some time during the night, Agent Jo Jo has managed to sneak in a new logo for Agent Sharky to use in his daily reports.
The Agent Sharky logo depicts a shield of arms. The Shark represents agent Sharky whilst the two cannons show Agent Sharky´s love for all things Arsenal.
Day 8, Agent Sharky's morning report.
Yesterday was a difficult day as the people holding me tried desperately to inject me with drugs. I was able to withdraw my veins to depths they could not find for most of the day. Then yesterday evening the enemy produced their secret weapon. Beautiful female agents that set my veins to tingling whilst they caressed my stomach, smoothed my arms & peeked out at me from behind their masks.
I'm ashamed to say Agent Sharky could not resist these beautiful agents dressed as seductive nurses & I eventually gave up my veins for them to inject me with truth serum. Unluckily for them, I am able to resist the serum & I continue to drip feed them with harmless rumours, innuendos & poor jokes.
Monday, November 8th.
Day 9, Agent Sharky's report.
Yesterday was a mixed day of attempted breakouts from confinement & the pain of punishment for said attempts.
Firstly the Dutch AIVD rescue team stormed the room I'm incarcerated in, shortly followed by a British team from the SAS. Both teams valiantly attempted to rescue me but alas the Dutch team of Agent Frouk & Agent Reinder, along with the SAS team of agent Bernard & Agent Sheila were all beaten back by cute nurses, I mean heavily armed guards, who had not yet finished with me.
After the failed attempts I was able to listen in to the Arsenal football match commentary. Even though Arsenal won, the performance at times was torturous. Add this to the evening meal having some sort of poison slipped into it to try & punish me for the failed escape attempts & it was an interesting evenings captivity.
My throat felt like it had been sliced open by 100 rusty razors but did I let my captors know this? Hell yes, I needed painkillers.
Tuesday, November 9th.
Day 10, Agent Sharky's report.
I think the guards are planning something severe & diabolical today after my previous escape attempts yesterday. A quiet stillness hangs over the barracks this morning.
After my usual cold Tostada this morning I am left to ponder what today will bring me. The Tostada scrapes the side of my raw throat as it slides down my throat today. I wonder if it really is antibiotics they have been treating me with or something to shred the lining of my throat to make swallowing harder.
For my main meal today I am fed salad to start, a bowl of mixed veg for my main & a bowl of gravy coloured couscous for pudding. I think this is one of the cruellest tortures I have had to endure so far.
This afternoon is again very quiet apart from the regular visits from the armed nurses that patrol the compound regularly, occasionally driving needles deep into me with more devious mind-altering drugs to try & make me crack.
Wednesday, November 10th.
Day 11, Sharky's report.
It would seem that diplomatic pressure has been brought to bear behind the scenes at a higher level. This morning after the dressing on my wound has been cleaned & medication for pain relief has been given, I am informed that I am to be released on Thursday morning.
I don't know if a mutual exchange of agents has been set up or if some sort of agreement has been made but I am to be released. I will have a short period of time to relax at home before being taken to a field hospital in San Javier to have my wounds checked & be debriefed.
I am not sure who will be doing the debrief but I will make sure they are a clean pair beforehand. I wouldn't want an unclean pair of briefs causing a shitty end & a new diplomatic incident.
Thursday, November 11th.
Day 12, Agent Sharky's report.
Day 12 was understandably a slow day for the torturers today as agents more adept at hiding my bruising from the cameras prepared me for my release. The food was more about giving me some strength than challenging Agent Ramsay to a cook-off. What you didn't realize Ramsay was a double 0. He is in fact a drill instructor, where do you think he perfected barking orders at people.
Bureaucracy was at its worst today. I was released into Agent Fisher's safe hands & he took me home. Agent Burns quickly arrived to escort me to my debrief. This was not as straightforward as expected though as the surgery in San Javier were not expecting me. I thank Agent Burns for her linguistic skills at the debrief, they definitely helped me get the correct treatment.
The rubber tube in my stomach is removed, the wound is cleaned but a gauze is placed back in the wound. I am instructed to go to my local surgery on a daily basis to get the wound cleaned & the gauze replaced.
After assisting me to get bundles of drugs to keep me going, Agent Burns dropped me at home where I will be based for a while getting the rest & recuperation needed.
Agent Sharky has now returned to his undercover duties & from next week I will continue to write these blogs myself, thank you for your company Agent Sharky, you kept me sane during my incarceration, at least I think you did.