Location: Longjinxi, Yangtze River, China
Summary: A calm morning turned into an unexpected wedding, a towering dam, Chinese medicine, Olympic‑level buffet chaos, and a late‑night lock‑watching session.
I woke early this morning to find we had moved overnight and were docked further up the Yangtze River. At around 06:45, I went to the Yangtze Club on deck 5 for tea with Branwen, our brilliant tour rep. At 07:00, I headed up to deck 6 for breakfast in the private restaurant.
The food was the same as the buffet on deck 2, but the experience couldn’t have been more different. Instead of fighting 250 hungry passengers for a fried egg, only seven of us sat in peace while the staff brought tea, coffee, juice, and anything else we fancied. Tracy appeared briefly, but her feet were troubling her, so she wasn’t joining us on the optional tour.
Tribe of the Three Gorges
Today’s optional tour cost ¥280 per person. At around 08:30, Mel, Pat, April, Mike, Hamilton, and I left the Victoria Selina and boarded a small launch heading into the Xiling Gorge.
As we travelled upstream, our guide explained how people once lived in the gorges, fishing, farming, and singing across the valleys because the terrain made visiting each other difficult. We even spotted wild monkeys, who now thrive thanks to tourists feeding them treats as they pass.
We walked past several waterfalls before being ushered to a small outdoor theatre. Our guide had saved us seats on a stone step and even provided paper so we didn’t get wet bums. About ten English and American tourists gathered, along with about 200 Chinese tourists.
Photos from the Tribe of The Three Gorges.
The show was entirely in Chinese, but we understood the gist: a young woman was choosing a husband and preparing to leave her village. There was much singing, weeping, and dramatic hand‑waving before the Matchmaker appeared and the veiled bride stepped onto a balcony above us.
My Wedding
The bride looked out over the crowd, teasing the audience by pretending to throw her bouquet in different directions. Then she launched it with sniper‑level accuracy straight at me. I didn’t so much catch it as have it land in my hands.
Suddenly, I was being led into a house, dressed in a bright red wedding robe and a rather dapper hat. My new bride took my arm and guided me onto the balcony to greet our cheering wedding guests. The Matchmaker then led us downstairs through the crowd to the “altar,” where the ceremony took place entirely in Chinese. I repeated vows I didn’t understand, received a marital gift hung around my neck, and sealed the deal with a shot of rice wine. As a couple, we then served rice wine to two witnesses.
After the ceremony, my enthusiastic bride dragged me to the marital bedroom, undressed me, and pulled me onto the bed, all backlit by a window that turned us into a shadow‑puppet show for the crowd outside. Nothing like a bit of public theatre on your wedding day.
Pat and I eventually made our way back to the dock, slipping on every wet patch thanks to the deceptively strong rice wine. When I boarded the ship, the Captain spotted the wedding gift around my neck, shook my hand, and congratulated me.
Back in my room, I showered, changed, and went to dinner in the private dining room. Complimentary beer and wine were flowing. Tracy asked if I’d enjoyed the morning and whether I had “anything to tell her.” The onboard photographer had filmed the entire wedding, and the video was now playing on the ship’s TV channel. I had been well and truly rumbled.
The Three Gorges Dam
In the afternoon, we docked at Sandouping and boarded a coach to tour the Three Gorges Dam. Having visited the Hoover Dam in the USA, I was curious to compare it. The Three Gorges Dam dwarfed it.
At the welcome centre, we were shown a model and given a barrage of facts and figures. Our guide assured us we’d forget them all, but we should remember that it’s the world's largest hydroelectric project. He was right, I can’t recall a single statistic.
From the viewing platform above the dam, we watched ships queuing to enter the locks. Our guide explained that the English translation for the waiting area is “the queuing area,” but in Chinese it’s called “The Pushin.” Proof, if needed, that the Chinese do have a sense of humour.
We walked back through the obligatory market, China’s version of Disney’s “exit through the gift shop.” What wasn’t like Disney was the number of soft‑porn magazines openly displayed between T‑shirts, fruit, hats, and drinks, a surprising addition to the usual tourist tat.
Chinese Medicine Talk
Back on the Victoria Selina, we went to the Yangtze Club for cheap cocktails. Ewen recommended a Manhattan. I tried one. Never again. It dried my mouth so much that I needed several beers to recover.
As we sat at the bar, Dr Hu, yes, that really was his name, came out to give a talk on Chinese medicine. He explained acupuncture, cupping, deep‑penetration massage, nerve massage, and electrical treatments. Before he even finished asking for a volunteer, my hand was in the air.
He asked about my health, and I mentioned my troublesome shoulder. Moments later, I was sitting shirtless in front of a group of English and American passengers while he demonstrated every treatment on me.
Eight needles went into my back and shoulders, only one or two even scratched. Cupping was painless but left impressive bruises. The deep massage was intense but not painful. The nerve massage felt great. The electric treatment was surprisingly pleasant, despite not being able to see what he was doing.
My shoulder hasn’t locked since.
I booked another session for the following day, especially after learning that tinnitus, which I suffer from badly, can be treated with acupuncture and herbs. Then I returned to my room to shower before dinner and the evening entertainment.
Captain’s Welcome Reception
I arrived early and saved seats for our English and American groups. A couple of beers kept me company until everyone arrived. Branwen and the others joined me just before the Captain appeared. Selena, one of the waitresses, kept my champagne glass constantly topped up; at one point, I had two.
The Captain made a speech in Chinese, Amanda translated, and then he declared the buffet open.
Chinese Olympic Display
What followed was the most astonishing display of athleticism I’ve ever seen. The Chinese passengers vaulted tables, hurdled chairs, sprinted to the buffet, and wrestled each other out of the way. It was like watching a plague of locusts strip a field bare.
We were sitting next to the buffet. There were no obstacles. Yet not a single English or American guest got even a crumb. If this was what the regular buffet was like, I was happy I’d upgraded.
Fortunately, our dinner in the VIP restaurant was waiting upstairs, complete with complimentary wine and beer. Pat pointed out that Selena seemed to have a soft spot for me, something I hadn’t noticed until she mentioned it. Suddenly, the constant champagne refills made sense.
Victoria Selina Show
The evening show was excellent, featuring costumes from different eras of Chinese history. The performers were the same people who served our meals, cleaned our rooms, and poured our drinks. The girls looked elegant and beautiful in their outfits. The boys, less so. They looked like they’d rather be anywhere else.
Photos from onboard the Victoria Selina.
After the show, I enjoyed happy hour at the bar before joining Tracy on her balcony to watch the ship enter the locks of the Three Gorges Dam. After a few beers, wines, and cocktails, even a concrete lock wall became fascinating. Tracy was so excited to get a phone signal that she FaceTimed her sister in England to show her the wall.
Later, we went up to the top deck. Apart from a few Chinese ladies, we were alone as we entered the final lock. They pointed out the gate closing behind us, and we watched the water rise before the ship moved out into the vast lake above the dam.
It was dark, and the lake was only faintly lit by the ship’s lights. There wasn’t much to see, and we shared a kiss or two before we called it a night and headed to our seperate rooms.
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